Cosplayers
by Akanami Tsukiko
Summary: Akai and Sara are returning from a convention where they went cosplaying as Obito and Madara Uchiha. So far, so good. Only problem, two certain people(guess who? It's so not obvious!) happen to overhear the little chat they're having...Crack. As. Fuck.
1. Cosplayers

Okay, I came up with this...somewhere. I did totally not dream about it and then decide to write it down. Anyway. Please do forgive possible mistakes, this is unedited and out of my phone, which tends to change words for some reason. It's not autocorrect, but something like that.

Akai: Also, do forgive any insults on Madara and Obito.

Sara: We didn't really mean them. It was fun though, and we couldn't help ourselves.

Disclaimer: Sadly enough, Kishi-sensei refuses to give me Obito and Madara. If he would...(Sara: You don't want to know, trust me) The plot is mine, Sara's my bitch, and Akai belongs to RedRaven98(who also happens to be the best onee-chan in th whole flippen world).

Warning: Rated S, for Stupid.

* * *

The two girls walked happily in the streets, either blissfully unaware of the odd stares they were getting, or simply noncaring. They were dressed in an unusual manner, -insert clothing describtion here- but it was the conversation they were having that got the more attention. They were returning from a cosplay convention, and of course were taking the chance to roleplay as the characters they were portraying.

"Hn. Fool," hissed the one with the red vest and ridiculously long hair. "Do you have an idea what you have done?"

"Of course," the one with the scarred face chuckled. "I made your pokemon my bitch. What about it?"

The first _tsk_ed in annoyance. "You have resolved quite the attitude."

"You've said that twice" the other pointed out. "You really need new lines."

By that time, they had stopped walking and were having a glaring showdown.

"You've managed nothing! You can't expect to defeat an entire alliance without my help!"

"...Come to think of it, how were we supposed to beat an alliance on our own along with some juubi fart in the first place?"

"How am I supposed to know? You're the idiot that declared war on them before having gathered all the nine bijuu! Seriously Obito! Why you no stick to plan?"

The Obito cosplayer huffed and stuck her tongue out at her friend. "Oh, go fuck Hashirama or something!"

"Ha! That was so funny I forgot to laugh! You go fuck Kakashi!"

She raised an eyebrow. "What do you think we did in the Kamui dimension?"'

The Madara cosplayer's rinnengan eyes widened. "Why, oh why, did I have to chose this good for nothing gay kid to save?"

"At least I admit to it, you necrophiliac zombie!"

"Is that honestly your best insult, pedo-virgin?"

"Shut up, fagfuck! You are my bitch now!"

Said fagfuck chuckled, clearly amused by the other's frustration. "Gee, and I thought that was Kakashi"

The Obito cosplayer grinned insanely. "You're just jealous that I've got a boyfriend and you don't, Mada-chan."

"Jealous of who? You? At least I'm not desperate enough to get laid as to fuck my own teammate!"

"That's because you've got no teammates and are a forever alone, Mada-chan"

'Mada-chan' growled. "Just because my hair is pretty it doesn't mean I'm a girl, so stop calling me that! I'm a very manly man!"

"Ha! You're the most girlish man I've ever seen!"

"That's funny coming from the schoolgirl in love with her sempai!"

Said schoolgirl widened her eyes comically. "You did not just go there, you hair crazed bastard!"

"You bet I did, annoying orange! Seriously though, what's with your voice in the dub? It's so fucked up that it's waste of breath to insult it!"

"Whatever, pedobear clone!"

* * *

Unknown to them, the girls were being watched by two rather pissed off, confused men., wearing the same outfits as them, but that were obviously not cosplayers. They glanced at each other.

"Is that supposed to be...us?" Obito asked with an eyetwitch.

"Dear me, I hope not" Madara frowned. "...You didn't really do it with Kakashi in the Kamui dimension! did you?"

"Eh..." Obito looked away.

"Just wait until I tell Hashirama what you did with Mito the other night! I bet-" the Obito cosplayer abruptly stopped mid sentence. "Akai, for whatever reason I'm getting the feeling that we're being watched by two potential pedophiles."

The Madara cosplayer, now known as Akai, nodded firmly, "The feeling is mutual."

They slowly turned around to come face to face with the two Uchihas glaring daggers at them.

"Sara. Please tell me that you're not seeing this, that I'm merely hallucinating!" Akai gulped.

Sara paled visibly. "Wish I could."

Both girls knew they were in trouble. No one would enjoy being accused of screwing his teammate, or his rival and said rival's wife. The intense glare of sharingan and rinnengan eyes wasn't lightening the atmosphere either.

"...Want some gum?" Sara asked with a sheepish smile, taking some out of her pocket.

The men stared, then.

* * *

I'm so sorry about the gum thing...I was just given some when I was finishing this and I couldn't resist.

Ah, this was fun. It was way funnier in my dream, but I sadly have forgotten most of it.

I wonder what Sara was going to tell Hashirama about Mito...Hmm...I need to come up with something and write that down as well, at some point.

Review, please? Pretty pretty please, with a chocolate-covered rainbow cherry on top?


	2. Not again!

(A huge thank you for the reviews, alerts and favourites. Also, to the person who reviewed just to tell me how much he hates the Uchiha clan, 1) you're lucky you didn't say anything about Obito or you'd be dead, 2) Why the hell did you even read this fic then?)

Me: I tried to resist. I really did.

Sara: But she couldn't. She said this was a oneshot, yet here's another chapter.

Me: Well, it couldn't be helped. Two people asked me to write more, and well, writing this thing is too damn funny. And now, for the disclaimer. Akai, Obito, get your butts here.

Sara: Sadly enough, this weirdo here, Akanami Tsukiko, owns me. And the small potatoes.

Akai: This _bitch _here doesn't own me. I, unfortunately, belong to RedRaven98.

Obito: Tsukiko also doesn't own Madara or me. Thank Kami for that.

Me: *smiles sweetly* But as I have mentioned before, one day I'll buy Obito from Kishimoto, and lock him in my basement, and well...I can't say more because this is T rated.

Obito: *running for his life*

Madara: Why the fuck do I have no lines? And also, when are you going to get on with the story.

* * *

Akai was nicely sleeping, when a knock on her door came to disturb her. She growled in frustration and covered her head with her pillow, refuising to get up and open the door.

"Upen up, bitch! It's me," came her best friend's voice.

Akai opened her eyes and yawned lazily, "I'm coming!"

Still half-asleep, she crawled out of her bed and not bothering to change from her pijamas to her normal clothes, went to open the door for Sara.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" the girl smiled sheepishly and skipped inside.

Akai glared at her dully but decided to let it go for the moment, it was too early for arguments. She walked in the living room and found Sara sitting on her couch, holding her laptop.

"Hey! Hands off my precious baby!"

Sara rolled her eyes, "The new Naruto chapter comes out today. Wanna read it or not?"

"I sure will read it," Akai grinned, yanking the laptop from Sara, "but you won't."

Sara pouted, "Meany."

"Thank you," Akai chuckled.

Sara crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at her.

"You're wearing Naruto's sleeping hat," she noted a few seconds later.

Akai blinked in confusion, "...So?"

"Just...I thought it'd take you a while, and lots of mental therapy to wear a cosplay piece again."

Both girls grimaced. It had been exactly two weeks since their encounter with who they had then thought to be the real version of the characters they were cosplaying. Looking back, the girls agreed that it was completely stupid to believe that.

They were returning from a convention after all, it was logical that there would be other cosplayers around. The two men's had seemed so realistic though, far more realistic than any cosplay they had seen before.

Admittedly, the two girls had been scared shitless. They hadn't given it much thought. In mere seconds they had hugged the men to death, and then were running off, so fast as if their lives depended on it. Which at the moment, they thought they did.

Of course, when the two realized no one was coming after them, they understood that it had simply been two cosplayers playing a prank on them. Or so they thought, untill that morning.

While still fighting over Akai's laptop, they heard an annoyed voice, "Kami! _Not again!_"

Akai widened her eyes and took a step back, Sara completely froze. The men glared at them, obviously remembering them and their insults as well.

"For Dumbledore's sake!" Akai hissed. "Why does this keep on happening? What the hell am I supposed to do with two bitches popping in front of me out of fucking nowhere?"

Madara snorted, "We're not exactly thrilled to see you again either, brat."

"_Of course_ you are thrilled to see her again. She's hilarious. And sexy," Sara deadpanned.

Akai smiled sheepishly, "Right back at you, imouto-chan!"

Obito rolled his eyes, and Madara snorted again.

"Are you always that stupid, or just when I'm around?" he asked, directed at Akai.

Instead of feeling insulted, she grinned, "Are you always that ugly, or- What am I saying? Of course you're always ugly."

"Bitch," he growled.

"Asshole!" she shot back.

"Slut!"

"Transy!"

"Whore!"

She gave him a fed up look, "Why must every name you give me imply that I'm sucking an old fart's cock? There are more creative insults, you know."

"Because you are, darling."

"_Darling?_ Now what? Have you fallen in love with me because of my amazing cussing skills or something?"

He narrowed his eyes, "That was sarcasm, _darling._"

"No shit, Sherlock!"

Sara was watching the conversation in clear amusement.

"Do they know they're acting like an old married couple?" she wondered, turning to Obito.

Instead of answering, he gave her a mild glare. He didn't know or care, and just wanted to get back to his world. Last time, he had been annoyed at the girls but also felt curious as to why they knew of him and Madara.

Now, he decided that they could say and know whatever they wanted, as long as he never had to see the again. Clearly they were insane, but he didn't view them as a credible threat.

Madara, on the other hand, was furious at Akai. He couldn't understand how a person that appeared to know who he was and what his powers were, dared talk to him like that.

He was half tempted to kill her(and her stupid friend for the matter) on spot, but he just wanted to tell her off first. Besides, a quick death was more than she deserved. He'd have to think of something more...what did she say..._creative._

"Damn pedophile that pops into people's houses like a fucking creep!"

"Stupid wrench! Do you even realize who you're talking to?"

"Hell yes I do! A goddamn fagfuck!"

Obito sighed. An old married couple, Sara had said? Well, she had a point in that.

"FUCKING SHUT UP! DON'T MAKE ME FORCE YOU TO WATCH DORA THE EXPLORER!" the girl shouted over her friend's and Madara's voice.

Akai looked like she was about to puke, but Obito and Madara were beyond confused.

"A very disturbing, very idiotic kids show," Akai explained, shuddering. "I want to strangle that fucking map thing."

Sara, the only one who had an idea what she was talking about giggled, "I want to throw boots at Boots!"

"That was weird. Even for you," her friend informed her. "So, what do we do with the bitches now?"

"Well I wouldn't be insulting us if I were you," Obito told her. "You're lucky we haven't killed you yet."

Sara shook her head, "This is not wise, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."

He stared, ".._What_?"

"Something tells me the universe of our nation isnt what it tastes like..." she hummed thoughtfully.

Akai nodded in agreetment, "Of course. Sometimes, I dress all in brown, lay down and pretend to be a potatoe."

Now both of the Uchihas were overly annoyed, and in all honesty they had no idea why the hadn't killed those girls yet.

They wanted to go back, but had no idea how to. They had no idea how they got there, either. Just like last time, they had suddenly disappeared from the battlefield and nicely popped in this weird world...only then, when the girls began running, they had disappeared from the weird world and nicely popped back in the battlefied.

"And now what?" Madara sighed.

"I know," Akai grinned. "We should make this into a fanfiction!"

* * *

And done. This time, really done. I think.

Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Review? Pretty pretty please, with _rainbows_ on top?


	3. Bathrooms and Disney

Yes, I am updating. Again. I just can't help it, you know? With all the positive reviews and people asking me to make more, I just couldn't not do it. Yes, this is becoming an actual story.

Just so you know, there will be sooooome romance. My take on weird, awesome, nerve-cracking, perverted and insane romance, but romance it is. Don't worry, this story will still be random craziness for the most part.

Disclaimer: I still haven't stolen Madara and Obito from Kishimoto, and Akai still belongs to RedRaven98(who is awesome! Love her!). Sara's my bitch though ;)

* * *

After Sara and Akai were done explaining what a fanfiction was, the four somehow came to an agreetment- without anyone actually voicing the deal though: The men would spare their lives, and in exchange the girls would let them stay there, and explain to them about their world, and how they knew of them.

Maybe the deal seemed unfair on the girls' part, however it really wasn't if you counted in the fact that they had the privilege to mock, insult and poke fun at s-rank criminals and live.

It had taken the Uchihas a while to accept that they were, in fact, manga characters, but with the girls shoving a bunch of "Naruto" manga volumes in their faces, they had not much of a choice.

Now your average person would be scared shitless with having nonexistent murderers in their houses, but Akai and Sara were not exactly your average person. Akai was actually glad that her house wasn't as boring and empty anymore, and Sara had decided to invite herself over for a few days- of course claiming that it was because she wouldn't leave her nee-chan alone with criminals.

In the morning, Akai was smart enough to wake up early and go to the toilet. Sara, waking up several hours later, had a small problem.

She was, currently, knocking frantically on Akai's bathroom door. She also was in a pair of pajamas that would better suit a child of middle school than a twenty year old, and her messed up hair made her look like Frankenstein's granddaughter, but this isn't important to the story.

"How long can it take for a person to pee? For tacos sake! Don't make me bring nee-chan here!" she threatened.

The two men were taking ridiculously long. She was certain she was waiting for at least half an hour.

_Damn Uchihas. They have to make sure that they look good even in the mornings, don't they? They're acting like teenage girls, _she thought, and that make her grin a bit.

Not only she was waiting too long, but Obito even had the nerve to steal her turn after Madara was outside. She sat down on the floor, giving it her best, but somewhat sleepy glare pout.

Madara, once again thinking she needed mental help, shrugged and headed to the kitchen. He had taken that long on purpose; that would teach the girl not to claim he was gay for Hashirama.

"Morning, faggot," Akai greeted him with a sheepish smile.

"Morning, bitch," he mimicked, smiling back with a smile that clearly meant he wished she'd die a slow and painful death.

"You need new lines, asshole."

He just smirked, "You know that when a girl picks on a guy, she's actually secretly crushing on him, right?"

She snorted. "Yeah, but I wasn't picking on a guy. I was picking on _you_."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he growled.

"Exactly what it sounds like. What else am I supposed to make out of the fact that you take longer in the bathroom than Sara and I combined?"

When Obito came downstairs, they were in the middle of a glaring competition. He just watched them and sighed, resisting the urge to facepalm. He almost wished that other girl was there so she and Akai would talk to each other and leave him and Madara alone. But that was wishful thinking, wasn't it?

* * *

"IT'S DISNEY TIME!" the girls announced, several hours later.

"Can we watch Lion King 2? Please? Oh, please?" Sara begged her friend, bouncing up and down.

Akai smirked, "Since you asked so nicely, imouto-chan."

Sara hissed, as if the words caused her physical pain. "I didn't ask nicely, I asked cutely! There's a difference."

"...Of course."

The men had no idea what Disney or Lion King were, but they assumed it was some sort of movie or show. Madara rolled his eyes and Obito snorted at their choice of way to pass the time, but deep down he felt relieved. Why?

Sara.

The girl was determined to get him back for stealing her turn in the bathroom. Annoying the hell out of him was apparently her strategy.

For more than an hour, she had been following him around, in the beggining murmuring a song that was apparently called "Following the Leader". Then, whenever he turned to stare at him, she would randomly ask something either completely nonsensical or simply annoying.

"What an awesome day to kill chickens, huh?" had been her first question.

He had stared at her oddly, thinking that it was an awesome day to kill _her_, instead of chickens, but decided that if he just ignored her she'd get bored. The rest of the question were just as bad- If he was afraid of the dark, if he liked ham, and if he was a couch potato.

He ignored her completely, but then she just changed the tune she was singing to "Pizza, Pizza! Krabbypizza~".

"Don't you have anything better to do than give me a headache?" he had snapped after that.

She grinned insanely in reply, "Shh...Do you hear this? It's the galaxy. It's giggling at us."

Obito was not exactly excited with the idea of the galaxy giggling at him. So he logically and reasonably felt relieved when the girls decided to watch a movie- it would probably keep them quiet.

Madara's thoughts were pretty much the same, though he wasn't just as annoyed. Arguing with Akai had actually proved...interesting, even if the cockyness with which she'd talk to him still pissed him off. And well, watching Obito getting annoyed was rather amusing, too.

Still, it had been too much insanity for one day, and he could definitely use a break. He also felt a tad bit curious as to how their televisions worked, they seemed much more compex than the ones in his world.

The movie turned out to be about some idiotic lions and their spoiled baby, and cleary sucked, in Madara's (not) objective opinion. Obito found it stupid as well, but didn't care as long as the girls remained silent...thing that they did, until that other baby lion came in.

"Yeah! Go Kovu!" Sara cheered.

"Is she honestly fangirling over a lion?" he murmured, mostly to himself.

Akai heard him and smirked, patting her friend's hair, "You bet your balls she is. She likes him because he's the confused, likeable kind of bad guy, that was good, turned bad, and then back to good...ne, ne, imouto-chan?"

Sara gave her a dull glare, but it soon turned into a dovey smile, "That's wrong, neechan. I like him because he's like a big kitty, and kitties are cute and cuddly."

Both men nearly facepalmed at the girls logic.

"Of course you do~" Akai sing sang, not seeming to believe her. "It sure has nothing to do with the fact-"

"You're spoiling the damn thing," Madara complained, and then, realizing it had sounded as if he was actually interested in the stupid movie, "...I never said that, understood?"

But neither of the girls were listening. In fact, they were laughing so hard that they wouldn't have noticed even if an alien invasion happened at the very moment.

"Oh Kami! The high and mighty Madara Uchiha likes a Disney movie! AHAHA!" Akai chocked out in between giggles.

He sent her a glare, but it only made her laugh more. She hid her face in Sara's shoulder and continued giggling for a few good minutes. Sara made to push her away, but then shrugged and let her, taking a lock of her hair and making it into a mini-braid. When the girl finally calmed down, she was gasping for air and her stomach hurt from too much laughter.

The men thought they'd have some piece and quiet after that, but as Akai raised her head, her face red from all the laughing and her hair completely messed up, with a horribly made braid sticking out of nowhere, it was Sara's turn to start giggling like a lunatic.

* * *

Taaadaaaa! You likey? YOU KNOW YOU DO!

I'll try to update weekly, but you know feedback helps. It makes me feel loved; more than candy and rainbows and all things good.

So review, pretty please? With marshmallows on top?


	4. Internet, Cookies and Toothpaste

I'M BACK! HELLO! Why the hell am I screaming?

...Well. Sorry, I'm in a really weird mood...Yeah.

Anyway, lots and lots of thank you and cookies and rainbows for the reviews, and alerts and favourites:D

I'll be replying to signed in reviews via PM, and guest reviews in the beginning of chapters here, so there you go.

Guest: Thanks for telling me, I hadn't even noticed there was an OC tag :)

If someone reviewed and I forgot to answer, you're free and encouraged to lecture me about it ^_^

Anyway. Don't have a clue what this chapter is about, but please do try to enjoy it XD

I don't mean to insult any of the people supporting the Tobi theories mentioned in this chapter, I have nothing against any of them. I assume the same couldn't be said for Obito though.

Disclaimer: Sara's my bitch, RedRaven98(aka, the best neechan ever) is letting me borrow her bitch Akai, but Kishiiiiiiii! Why won't you give me Obito and Madara? *fake ass sniff*

* * *

Madara banged his head against a wall, hard. Akai and Sara were laughing their butts off. Obito, was staring at Akai's laptop, in shock and horror.

_"Sasuke from the future?!"_

Madara banged his head even more, so hard that the wall was starting to creak, "Why...the yaoi...Hashirama...Naruto...Itachi...Obito...Tobir ama...everyone..."

_"Sasuke from the future?!" _Obito repeated, glaring at the laptop.

"Payback for touching my baby," Akai scowled at him, grabbing it and hugging it tight to her person.

Sara snickered, "Out of all the theories...Kagami...Izuna...Is Sasuke really the only one that annoyed you?"

"Sasuke. From. The. Fucking. _Future_," Obito deadpanned.

"...You got a point?"

"HEY YOU LITTLE SHIT LEAVE MY WALL ALONE!" Akai snapped as her wall was close to breaking.

"Shut up! I need to erase the memory of the yaoi!" Madara yelled back.

"Well you wouldn't have seen it if you didn't touch my laptop, fagfuck!"

"You could have at least warned us that those _things _existed, bitch!"

"Both of you shut up! I don't fucking _care _if neechan doesn't want people touching her goddamn laptop or if Madara is in denial about his gayness!" Sara joined in.

_"Sasuke from the future?"_ Obito said, for the third, and not last, time that day.

How all of this had happened? Well...

Akai and Sara were playing imaginary lego, and so, the two men had taken the chance to sneak into Akai's room and find out what that little thingy the girls called a 'laptop' was.

The only problem in that, was that Akai had imagined they would feel tempted to do something like that, and made sure the attempt would leave them scarred for life. She had arranged it so once they turned on the laptop, all the windows she had open previously would re-open.

And they weren't anything. She had especially prepared certains horrors for them. Some were yaoi fanfictions, pairing either Obito or Madara with pretty much any male member of the Narutoverse. That, they could handle. Once they understood what the fic was about, they just closed the tab.

What was impossible to counter, however, were the pictures. The moment they saw them, they was engraved in their memory forever, and they would haunt them for the rest of their lives- even if in Madara's case, he was technically dead already.

Another tab, had been Tobi theories. A lot of them. And with long explanations, not _why _the theory made sense, but how exactly it had all happened. Obito flipped out.

One thing was for sure, the two men had learned not to take Akai's laptop without permission. Not that there was a possibility she'd ever give them permission, but at the moment they didn't care. In their minds, that laptop was responsible for what they had seen, and thus, it was evil and should burn in Hell.

They had no idea how the internet worked, which was what they were trying to find out when they first got the laptop, but at the moment, they weren't so sure they wanted to find out.

"Ch, those aren't even hardcore," Sara giggled, taking a look at the pictures that had so frightened the two men.

* * *

"IMOUTO-CHAN! STOP STRUGGLING AND LET ME MAKE YOU PRETTY!"

"THE HELL, NEE-CHAN? I'M FABULOUS ALREADY!"

Akai jumped on Sara's back and tackled her to the ground, holding her still and then taking a strap of her hair and brushing it.

"Just let me do my job as an older sister, god-pein-jashin-damnit!"

Sara pouted, "But I like my hair messy! And besides, the only place I may go to today is the food store! Why does it matter if I look pretty?"

"Don't know," Akai shrugged smiling sadistically. "This is fun though. I think I'd be a good hairdresser."

Sara snorted, "My ass would be a better hair dresser thank you! **(A/N: Nee-chan, I apologize if you planned on becoming a hairdresser. This is not to be taken seriously. It was fucking funny to write though. My ass _sucks _at hair**** dressing) **You've ripped half of my hair out."

"That's because you're struggling!"

"No, it's because you suck at this!"

"I'm awesome at this!"

Obito shot them a brief glance, decided they were too close to him, kicked them away and resumed what he was doing before the girls interrupted him with their yelling. Which was staring at the table. It made a damn good opponent for a staring competition...as long as you ignored the fact it didn't have eyes.

Sara huffled, "That was rude."

"I could have killed you," Obito pointed out darkly.

Akai snorted, "I'm scared shitless. No, seriously, just look at me shaking with fear. I'm _terrified_."

"I _could_."

"That would be so very mean though," Sara hummed thoughtfully.

"And I care why?"

"How should I know? Ask Marley."

He gave her an odd stare, "And he is...?"

"Sasuke's personal cupcake."

"How does that...even...does what you're saying honestly make sense to you?"

"Not really," she admitted with a bright smile. "We're discussing "Naruto"* though. "Naruto" doesn't make sense, and therefore, a conversation about it shouldn't make sense either."

Obito was beyond confused. Was the pattern of her thoughts too insane for him to follow, or did her thoughts simply not have a pattern? It was possible. The girl didn't seem exactly stable and thus, maybe she was just blurting out whatever random thought crossed her mind, without it meaning that the things she was saying were necessarily connected to each other.

Akai snickered, "She's PMSing, Tobitch. Don't expect to make sense of what she's saying."

Sara chuckled quietly to herself, "And then, Buffy staked Edward."

Obito wanted to mimick Madara's earlier reaction to the yaoi and bang his head against a wall until or memories of their stupidity was gone, but it was more of a reaction than they deserved, so he setlled with leaving the room.

"So?" Sara demanded snapping out of her giggly mood. "We're totally getting him back for kicking us, no?"

Akai rolled her eyes, "Did you even have to ask?"

* * *

The two girls grinned at each other.

"Impress me, imouto-chan," Akai challenged.

"I will do my best, my dear partner in crime," Sara replied formally. "As you quite well know, pranks are your strong point and not mine. I will try not to disappoint you though."

They had decided that a prank was the best way to get back at Obito. Akai had pointed out that her imouto needed more pranking experience, so she was the one doing the prank this time.

Just as the girls finished talking, the two Uchihas walked in. Sara quickly skipped over to them and held up a plate ful of oreo cookies that she had been holding. She figured it would seem less suspicious if she asked Madara as well, and if he somehow fell for the prank too, all the better.

_"GuysAkaiisbeingsoflippenmeanandsayingmycookiessuc kyougottatrythemandtellher-"_

"Breathe,"Obito reminded her.

"And now say what you want without screaming or panicking," Madara added.

"Akai is being a meanybutt," Sara explained, giving her friend a glare-pout. "She's claiming my cookies are horrible, which is impossible, because they're _cookies_. Will you pleeeease try them and tell her how sadly mistaken she is?"

"No," Madara said flattly, assuming they cookies would actually be horrible.

Of course, neither of the men knew that Sara hadn't baked the cookies, but just bought them and...more on that later.

She looked up at Obito hopefully, "Please? Oh, please?"

He decided to just humor her, knowing full well that otherwise she'd just bug him until he agreed. Besides, it was a cookie, just _how _bad could it be? He took one from the plate glanced at it suspiciously before taking a bite.

"WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?"

Akai and Sara watched gleefully as he chocked on the cookie, trying to spit it out.

"What did you put in that, imouto?" Akai asked while trying to restrain her laughter.

"Well...nothing really...Toothpaste..." Sara admitted innocently.

Obito growled dangerously, "Sara, you fucking little shit-"

"What? I did mention they _might _taste horrible."

"Never. Prank me again. Understood?"

"I understand," Sara agreed, before muttering under her breath, "that doesn't mean I won't though."

He merely narrowed his eyes at her and went to get some water.

"You did well, young padawan," Akai complimented.

Sara did a little happy dance.

Madara just watched them both in amusement. "And that's why I'd never accept, if you two offered me something out of the blue."

Akai snickered. He thought he was too good to be pranked, huh? Maybe they should put that to test.

* * *

Aaaaaaaaand, cliffhanger! Sorta..?

This was fun making, hope it was fun reading. Huh, huh, got your nose.

...Sorry.

* When I type it "Naruto" with the "" I refer to the manga. When I type it Naruto without the "", I refer to the person.

Sooo~

Leave a review, go eat a cookie. Without toothpaste.


	5. Pranks and their aftermath

'Ello cupcakes.

Lots of thanks for the reviews, alerts, and favourites. You guys make me happy like pie. Yeah, pie. Rainbow pie.

Anyway, this chapter is a mix of random, pranks, flour and pillows. But I sincerely(I like that word!) hope you will enjoy it. Also, Mungo.

Akai: What the fuck is that?

Obito: A dumpster diver – one who extracts valuable things from trash.

Madara: How the _fuck _did you know that?!

Sara: Wow, it actually means something. Tsukiko just kinda made it up...

Me: *facedesk* Anyway, moving on.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the Naruto characters...not yet, that is...They're Kishimoto's. Akai belongs to RedRaven98, and I own my bit- _girl _Sara, and the plot- even though there is no much of a plot...

* * *

Akai's prank was all ready and set, but she was just waiting for a good time to put her plan in action.

She was given that opportunity,however odd that sounded, after the men had taken a shower. How that helped with her plan? Well for her plan to work, Madara had to use a hair dryer. Of course, with the length of his hair, he didn't have the patience to let it dry itself, and so, when Akai offered him a hair dryer, he gladly accepted.

He suspected something was up, but couldn't figure out what just yet, so he decided to play along for the moment. He knew the girls meant to prank him at some point, and it wasn't like Akai to offer help for no reason, but he couldn't understand how using a hair dryer would help her accomplish her prank. It was a simple hair dryer after all, it could not do harm.

Oh how sadly mistaken he was.

When he turned on the hair dryer, he instantly knew what the girl had done, but it was too late. He was covered in flour, and shaking with rage. He couldn't quite believe that a girl, not even a ninja, had managed to prank him like that.

He had to admit; it was ingenious on her part. But that didn't mean he could let her get away with it...

His thoughts were interrupted by a sound similar to choking, and something falling down. He tore his eyes off the hair dryer he was still staring at in shock, and saw Akai practically rolling on the floor, and laughing so hard no sound was coming out.

"Is it possible to laugh yourself to death?" Sara wondered, throwing her friend a worried glance.

Madara glared at Akai dully, and somehow, that was when it struck her. He...however covered in flour, and pissed off, and ready to brutally murder her he was, ...It was kinda..._cute_. And not in the way puppies or kittens were cute, either. In a way more disturbing, and distracting way, that kinda made your brain die a slow and painful death, but you didn't really mind.

She nearly jumped up, surprised by her own thoughts.

"Well, that was fun. I kinda need to take a shit now, so bye."

And just like that she left the room, skipping away.

Madara felt annoyed that he didn't get to threaten her untl she peed her pants, or better yet, get her covered in flour as well.

Sara was confused. Her friend wasn't one to get scared off so easily, and she couldn't imagine why she so suddenly left while she could still get to laugh at a covered in flour, pissed off nonexistent criminal.

Obito was nobody-knew-where.

* * *

Suddenly, a loud BAM and a scream were heard from the kitchen.

"IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! I SWEAR TO THE VOICES, GOD TOLD ME TO!"

Akai abruptly stopped was she was doing, which was repeatedly throwing her pillow at her wall, and darted to the kitchen, to see what her imouto had done this time.

She expected a lot of things, but she did _not _expect to find her oven emiting smoke, her friend covering her hand with her mouth to restrain her laughter. The two Uchihas that walked in the room to find out what the noise was, were just as surprised.

Akai glared at her dully. "What have I told you about destroying household items, imouto-chan?"

"To only do it in my house, and make sure I videotape it," Sara replied swiftly. She had the expression of a five year old caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar, yet is rather proud and gleeful about it.

"Exactly, imouto-chan. Neither this is your house, nor you have a camera."

Sara crossed her arms and huffed, "Well, I've got pandas."

"...I've got unicorns."

"Frying pans."

"Laughing gas."

"Umm...Jar of dirt!"

Akai smirked, pulling out her trump card, "I've got Nutella."

Sara's eyes went wide, as if she had been informed that Christmas was coming early this year.

"I think you _both _have mental issues," Obito muttered under his breath.

* * *

After Akai mentioned Nutella, of course Sara offered to clean the kitchen back to normal in exchange for some. Due to her love for Nutella and anxiety to get it, the cleaning up had been done in impossibly little time. She had even somehow gotten Akai's oven to work again.

Currently, the girls were in the living room, one enjoying her sweet and the other entertaining herself with punching a pillow. She seemed to have a problem with those lately.

Oh, she was pissed. She was so very pissed. Not at the pillow though- it was her own thoughts that were annoying her. It had to be the first time in her life that she actually regretted doing a prank. Admittedly, it had gone perfectly, but somehow, it seemed to have backfired on her.

Of course, she could be simply overreacting. So yeah, the dude was fun to annoy and good looking- So what? The same could be said for half the male members of the Narutoverse. It was no big deal, really.

But her brain would unfortunately not accept that, and rather chose to remind her that apart from that, he was also someone surprisingly easy to talk to- nevermind their conversations were 60% curses, 25% glaring and 15% percent sarcasm. Those were the things that made a conversation awesome after all.

Or that, before she learned "Naruto" was real, he was one of her favourite characters. Or that he happened to have the same, somewhat odd sense of humour she had, and that apart from her imouto, no one had really understood before.

She sighed, mentally pushing her thoughts away and stealing a spoonful of Sara's Nutella. Well, it had been hers to begin with.

Madara was rather annoyed himself, still trying to get the damn flour off, while constantly having to remind himself that Akai's attitude was merely annoying, and nothing more. _Fine,_ she could be somewhat witty at some times. _Fine, _she had shown some unexpected intelliegence for an unimportant girl of a foreign world.

_So? _She was still annoying as one could be. How dare she speak to him like that, mock and poke fun at him like he was just _anyone _-even more so while knowing full well her actions could get her killed in _litterally _the blink of an eye-, and _prank _him? He was annoyed, that was for sure, yet he couldn't say that he disliked her, and that annoyed him even more.

Even after the flour was off though, he was still sour about the prank and thus, he (childishly) decided he wouldn't be talking to her for the rest of that day, at least. It was an impossible decision to follow though, when at dinner, she started poking her food with the pork, a rather sadistic smile on her face.

"...Just _what _the hell are you doing?"

"Playing," she replied with a dark chuckle, though her tone was slightly sharper than usually. "It makes it tastier."

Madara had to think on that one for a moment. "Like foreplay?"

"...Um, sure?"

"My poor, virgin ears!" Sara pouted.

Akai snickered, "Please. You're more perverted than me, imouto-chan, and that's saying something."

Madara snorted, considering that highly unlikely. Akai narrowed her eyes at him. Sara watched them both with a wide grin on her face. Obito was the only one eating normally, and mentally facepalmed at the scene.

* * *

So.

*spongebob grin* You liked the chapter, didn't you, readers?

_Eeh_. Sorry. That just kinda came out.

Go outside, buy an ice cream, make some cookies, go to the park...oh, don't forget to leave a review...beware of turtle-eating tacos...

What the hell? I thought tacos were vegeterians, damnit.


	6. Just get in there, you stupid pokemon!

I am sorry. I am so very sorry.

I know that I said I would be updating weekly and last week I didn't updated at all, but honestly, I had too much shit in my head. Firstly, school started and my classmates are just being complete assholes, I had stuff going on at home, AND I am working on two original stories. So my brain is pretty fucked up right now.

Apart from that, I've also had a whole lot of personal drama and I'm emotionally cracking up, so I didn't think trying to write a humor story would really work. I'm better now, but not quite back to how I was.

Thanks a ton for the reviews, alerts and favourites. I apologize that this chapter is a bit short, and definitely not worth a two week wait. I'll try to update as fast as I can from now on, but no promises, for the moment at least.

...Do you feel the gloominess?

Note: If there's anyone interested in what Akai and Sara look like(besides the fact that they're sexy as fuck :P), I have some drawings of them in my DeviantArt, the link is on my profile.

Reply to guest reviews:

RandomNinjaGirl: I, for one, didn't know that tacos and turtles are related. Stupid cannibals. I'm glad you liked the prank since my pranks usually suck monkey balls. Thanks for the review :)

Disclaimer: I'm seriously running out of funny ways to say that I don't own Naruto, and never will.

* * *

"Where's the stupid remote?"

"Shut up and let me slaughter bitches!"

"Will you both quit nagging?"

"_My stupid textbook is singing to me! _It's times like this that I miss my hamster the most!" Sara waited until the three others had shut up to stare blankly at her, before adding, "What? If everyone else gets to sulk, I get to sulk too!"

Akai, being used to such statements, nodded in acceptance. "I thought you owned a birdie though. Isn't missing your hamster kinda like betraying your birdie?"

"Well, yeah," Sara admitted, and then shrugged. "But, it betrayed me first. I mean, it fucking tried to _fly. _Do you believe it?"

"Hardly."

Madara narrowed his eyes at them slightly, while Obito was wondering if there was any duct tape in the house to shut their mouths with.

In the beginning, the men were relieved that the girls had been ignoring them that day for the most part, but they soon found out that their inexplicably random conversations and actions were far worse than any intentional attempts to annoy them.

"F is for Fire that burns down the whole town. U is for URANIUM...BOMBS! N is for No survivors when you're-"

"Plankton!" Sara interrupted her neechan in a kid voice. "Those things aren't what fun is all about! Now, do it like this: F is for Friends who do stuff to-

"Never! That's completely idiotic!" Akai protested.

Sara sighed, "Here, let me help you...F is for friends who do stuff together. U is for You and me, TRY IT!"

"N is for Anywhere and anytime at all," Akai muttered grumpilly.

"Down here in the deep blue sea!" they finished together.

Akai held back a snicker before saying, "Wait...I don't understand ...I feel all tingly inside...Should we stop?"

"N-no!" Sara exclaimed, barely supressing her giggles. "That's how you're supposed to feel!"

"Well I like it!" Akai decided and then covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her laughing. "Let's do it again!"

"O...kay," Sara agreed while grinning like mad.

"F is for Frolic through all the flowers. U is for Ukelele. N is for Nose picking, chewing gum, and sand licking. HERE WITH MY BEST BUDDY!" they sang together.

"You both have issues," Obito informed them.

"And you can't sing," Madara added.

Akai snorted. "Of course we can sing. It just may sound horrible."

* * *

"Shut. Up."

"Yeah, that's what you think."

"That's not a reply to 'shut up'!"

"Yeah, that's what you think."

Obito glared dully at an obviously sugar high Sara, that was currently tapping on her bicycle helmet.._.bicycle helmet?_

"Why are you even wearing this?"

The girl grinned and for the first time in the last hour, gave a different reply than 'that's what you think'. "It's part of my austronaut training."

He sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that day. "...Of course."

"That's what you think!" she said with a snort.

She shrugged at the glare she received, and then went to sit on the couch, using Akai as a pillow.

"You're violating my airspace, imouto," Akai scolded her in a fakely annoyed tone.

"That's what you think," Sara repeated. "And hey, will you write me a poem?"

"What?"

"Write. Me. A. Poem."

Akai rolled her eyes. "Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. But this one doesn't."

"Dude, you must become a poet."

"Dude, I'm not a dude."

"Meh," Sara shrugged, shifting a bit to get more comfortable, looking over Akai's shoulder as she continued playing a game consisting of cookies, and evil grandmas. "So, when's the part you conquer the world with spoon?" she asked, pointing a teaspoon at her neechan.

"Not today, imouto-chan," Akai replied, countering it with a fork.

Obito blinked. Where were they getting those? They had more than Sasuke had shuriken, and that was saying something.

He dearly hoped the girls would be too caught up in their game to annoy him, as he had serious boring-ass stuff to do, like wondering how the fuck he and Madara got in a different universe, and how to go back before they lost their sanity, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

"Just get in there already, you stupid pokemon!" Sara demanded, throwing what she had earlier explained to him that was a pokeball at his head.

He caught it, and for a moment wondered why it so strongly resempled the Uchiha symbol, but then he figured that he didn't care, and threw it straight back at thi girl, who barely had time to duck. Sara had fast reflexes...unfortunately, that couldn't be said for Akai's lamp as well.

"You. Did. Not," the elder girl growled, her face flying wildly around her, in a Kushina-liker manner. "Not only you tried to hurt my imouto, but you aslo broke my fucking lamp!"

"With a poke ball," Sara added cheerfully.

The man mentall sweatdropped at Akai, as he thought that she was overreacting. He admitted to himself that he shouldn't have thrown the ball at Sara, but wasn't it her fault for not catching it?

Her rolled his eyes at the girls that had somehow gone from being pissed as hell to arguing about which pokemon was the best. He decided that he and Madara needed to get out of that place, soon. Speaking of which...

"Where's Madara?"

"Who knows?" Sara asked with a shrug.

"Who cares?" Akai added.

_Obviously, you do, _he thought, but decided against pointing it out.

* * *

Hours later, when the girls went to sleep, Akai was surprised to find three movies, specifically Mulan, Lion King 1 and Bambi sitting nicely above her Dvd player. Her eyes narrowed slightly in confusion, being sure that she had those in the living room, but then she grinned widely.

Seemed like she knew what Madara had been doing after all.

* * *

I'm a bad author for making this short, I know. Bear with me, because I'm a bear and a world without bears would be unbearable.

...Uh. Authoress-chan is making lame-ass puns now, children.

Anyway, doing sue me about Madara being a closet-Disney-fan. It's a crackfic, meaning I can do whatever the hell I want.

Okay, I sound REALLY gloomy today. On a happier note, I'm going to make cake today, which is likely to make me happy. AND I WON'T GIVE YOU ANY. Bwahahahahahahaha.

Review, maybe? I don't really have a reason why, but please?


	7. He's my WHAT?

Relatively early update, but not a really funny chapter...Or maybe it is? I don't know. The idea just popped in my head and I just had to write it down, it was also a way to speed up...things...He, no spoiling!

Well, on the bright side, this story is slowly starting to have a plot in my mind! Not just random cursing and insanity! PLANNED random cursing and insanity! Oh yay!

Now, I need your guys' opinions on something. I know I have plenty of time until then, but what I have in mind will take a while to write so I have to ask this now. On October 31, I plan on making a Halloween Special for this story. Should I make it just like another chapter, or a a canon, but separate oneshot side story thingy? Please reply in the reviews, lovelies.

Thanks a bunch for the reviews. You guys are amazing, I seriously can't believe how much feedback this story is getting :DDDD I'm just going to say, I'm so flippen glad I continued this and didn't leave it as a oneshot. You guys seriously make my day.

Now, replies to guest reviews(that were surprisingly many this time! Yay!)

RandomNinjaGirl: Haha! Sorry for that! And nooooo, I'm not answering that about Akai being in you-know-what. You'll have to wait and find out! Yep, lamps are sadly such slow thinkers.

Guest1: I laughed my butt out writing this, and I'm glad you liked it too. Thanks for the review :)

Guest2: Sure you can use this as your catchphrase, though I definitely wouldn't mind some credit.

Neko-chan: Yep, yep. Naruto and Disney equals amazingness!

Uni-poop: Firstly, loving your username. Secondly, I was a Tobito theorist from the very beginning too! High five! I'm not sure if I'm making Akai as badass as I should, since she's not my character and all, but I'm glad you like how I portray her.

Uni-poop(Again! Thank you so much awesome reviewer-san!): You should be a poet, too. MY CAKE IS BETTER!

**Disclaimer: **Madara and Obito= Kishimoto's bitches. Sara= My bitch. Akai= RedRaven's bi- (Akai: DON'T YOU DARE!) bipolar little amazing lunatic of awesomeness! And cookies.

* * *

Sara was happily cooking lunch, since Akai was upstairs finishing something "ingenius, but it had to be a surprise", as she said. The girl immediately knew something had gone wrong though when she heard a loud curse, a bump and groans.

_What the Hell_? she thought, leaving the chicken she was making as it was to run and see what had happened.

She found her friend and neechan laying on the floor a feet away from the stairs, staring at the ceiling with a bright smile. Sara came to the conclusion she had somehow fallen down the stairs, but seemed fine so she felt relatively relieved.

Until Akai turned to her and asked with a sheepish smile, "Morning. Who are you?"

"Sara, the Mermaid Princess of the Orange Pearl," she replied with an eye roll, thinking her friend was merely kidding her like she usually did.

"That's amazing! I am..." Akai trailed off and frowned. "Who am I?"

"You are Coco, Princess of the Yellow Pearl," Sara snapped, a bit uneasy with how far her friend's joke was going.

"Really? So have we met each other before?"

Sara frowned. "Akai, that's not funny anymore. I have the chicken in the oven, you know."

"Yeah, so? It can wait. Now tell me! Do we know each other?" Akai insisted.

All colour drained from Sara's colour. "The chicken can wait," was one thing her best friend would never say. Chicken was, above all and beyond doubt, Akai's favourite food. Which meant that her friend wasn't in fact joking...which meant...

"Oh shit. Oh shit. _Oh shit. _Ohshitohshitohshitohshit!"

Akai frowned a bit herself. "You seem a bit worried...?"

"Akai," Sara started, swallowing hard. "How many live action movies does Death Note have?"

"What's that? It sounds creepy."

_She really doesn't remember, _she thought, paling even more. _I probably have to get her to a hospital, but how do I leave with two techno-idiots in the house? They'll probably destroy her laptop and if that happens, she'll skin me alive, amnesia or not._

"OBITO! MADARA! GET YOUR CUTE BUTTS HERE THIS INSTANT! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"

The men were more than able to hear her even though they were to rooms away, and did feel a bit curious as to what it was, they had never heard her actually worried before.

"What is it?"

Sara was unable to talk, and just pointed at Akai while shaking her head.

"You're saying that her existense is a problem? I'll agree with that, but is it honestly the reason you called us here?" Madara deadpanned.

"No!" Sara snapped. "All I know is I was cooking chicken, and I heard a scream, I said I'm from Pichi Pichi Pitch, and now Akai doesn't know how many live action movies Death Note has!"

"Would you like to explain that again..._in a way that makes sense_?" Obito suggested.

"Akaikindafellfromthestairsandlosthermemory..."

"You're joking."

"Who's he?" Akai suddenly asked, pulling Madara's hair with a child-like curiosity.

"Okay, maybe you're not joking."

Sara sighed, trying to quickly come up with a believable backstory to give Akai.

"He's your boyfriend, Madar-"

Akai burst out laughing, "He's my _what_?"

"Something funny?" the man asked, glaring. He wasn't sure who he was more annoyed at, Sara for saying that or Akai for laughing.

"Oh, sorry, it's just, you don't really seem like my type," she shrugged.

"Oh, so you don't remember your name but you remember your type?!" he snapped, feeling an annoyance he couldn't explain.

"Duh. You don't forget these kind of things."

Sara supressed a chuckle, despite knowing it was a serious situation she couldn't help but find that hilarious.

"Anyway, as I was saying, this is your boyfriend, this is his brother Obito, and I'm your best friend. We decided to go for vacation all together, and we came to your house to get some things you had forgotten. You went upstairs to take them, and probably fell and hit your head. That's why you've forgotten some things."

Akai nodded, taking in the information. "Well hello guys, I'm...um, how did you say it Sara? Kono?"

"No, Coco," Sara reminded her and then mentally kicked herself. "I mean no! That was a joke. You're name's Akai."

"Akai," the girl mused, the sound slightly reminding her of something. "Well, are we going on vacation or what?"

Sara closed her eyes, focusing. She had to get her neechan to the hospital, but before that she needed to talk to the guys without Akai hearing them, somehow.

"Of course. Just go upstairs to pack your things, okay? We'll be waiting here."

Akai nodded and skipped away happily, looking everywhere around her in curiosity.

_Fuck, I hope the hit didn't also lower her IQ or something like that, _Sara thought, watching her friend with a slight smile, but still feeling worried as hell.

"Well. That _is _a problem," Obito noted.

"REALLY? NO SHIT!"

Both men stared because they doubted they had ever seen Sara seriously yell before. Not that the sight of a cheerful, happy-go-lucky Akai was more usual, but at least she had an excuse.

"Sorry. I'm just worried," she sighed. "I need to get her to the hospital, and you're coming along because frankly, I don't trust you not to destroy Akai's house if you stay alone here. Also, I seriously hate having to act this serious so pray to Kami, Jashin, Jesus, Budha or whatever god you want that her amnesia is temporary."

"And how will we go out like that?" Madara asked, pointing at their outfits.

"I honestly don't give a shit. If you like it better, come in boxers or in a pedo-bear suit for all I care."

* * *

"Well?" Sara asked impatiently.

The doctor scratched the back of his head and sighed, "It appears that your friend has a slight concussion from the fall, and temporary amnesia. It may be a few days until everything comes back to her. Until then, you should be with her all the time, keep her out of stress and make sure she doesn't do anything dangerous."

Sara, and then men though they'd never admit it, sighed in relief.

Akai bounced around happily. "So are we going on vacation now?"

"Somebody hold me back, I'll murder her," Madara growled.

She titled her head to the side and grinned. "I'll take it that's your way of showing affection, huh?"

* * *

Yes I know that this chapter was completely random, but I thought it was about time something other than them running around in the house happens :D And also, it's fun to have Akai be so...happy?

And wow, Sara gets angsty when her friends are in trouble :D It's funny because while writing this, I discover new things about my own character. You know what I mean? I have to imagine her reactions and opinions on things I hadn't thought about before, and yada yada... XD

Do you see a pretty little button below? It's called the review button. Basically, you write something and press it, and something magical happens! I become very very happy and update faster! Yay!


	8. Caramelldansing Zombies

HOME ALONE FOR A WEEK! I FEEL SO FLIPPEN BADASS!

Well, not entirely alone. My baby sis is here too, but still, dad isn't, which means, I can buy Nutella, and dance to horrible songs, and do a wannabe-Zetsu-female no jutsu-cosplay...Oh wait, I did all that already.

Teehe.

Well, I think I should end my little personal rant here and instead of giving you details about my oh-so-awesome life, thank everyone for the reviews, alerts and favs. I love you guys. No homo for the girls.

Nooooow~ Le replies to le quest reviews:

RandomNinjaGirl: *crying anime tears of joy* Do you have any idea how happy such awesome reviews make me? Arigato! I updated as fast as I could ^_^

Uni-poop: No. My cake wins, _period. _But thanks for the review.

Guest1: Mmm-hmm. Fear le almighty Coco.

Guest2: *snif* My characters are loved~ Well, mine and neechan's but that's beyond the point...I feel so happy *rainbows*

A-ny-way.

This chapter was a complete bitch to write. I'm 68 % (trolled you -_-) sure that everyone is OOC, it's a somewhat in between thingy, because I needed some stuff to happen before Akai got her memory back but they're not really funny...Mainly, it's just, the days are passing slowly blah blah, Akai doesn't know what's going on blah blah, Obito's being sassy blah blah, Madara's pissed blah blah, Sara's nuts as ever blah blah -_-

But please bear with me and read it, I did try my best :D

**Disclaimer: **Sara=Mine. Obito and Madara= Sadly, not mine. Kishimoto, whyyyyyyyyy? Akai= Belongs to the best-est neechan in the whole wide world, RedRaven98.

* * *

Akai and Sara danced away like no tomorrow, while the two men couldn't help but stare.

"And that, dear friend, is how you do Caramelldansen," Sara exclaimed cheerfully, patting Akai's head.

Akai crossed her arms, obviously not happy about it. "I can't believe I forgot this! The more I remember, the more I realize that I still don't know!"

"Now, you must be patient, young one-"

"...But I'm older than you."

"Minor setback, my dear. You must be patient and strong. This is a challenge, and I know it seems hard," Sara ranted on in a serious tone. "However, your will is strong and unlike me, you've always had a bright memory. You will come through! I believe in you, dear sister!"

Madara facepalmed and Obito sighed, being the little emo-butts they are. This kind of thing had been going on for the last few days, the girls doing the most inexplicable things at the most unsuitable hours. All with the excuse that they were trying to get Akai to remember things.

Admittedly, that _did _have a point, but dancing at four in the morning, or speaking like...the way Sara was speaking..._didn't._

"So, should we do a Macarena next?" Akai suggested, clearly uninterested in the stares they were getting. "I kinda forgot it...again...I hate amnesia."

"Patience, patience! With the power of youth burning bright inside of you-"

"You _do _realize that not only what you're doing is extremely annoying, but also has caused the both of you to look like sleep deprived zombies," Obito stated flattly.

Sara smiled sheepishly, " And _you _do realize that you're awake too?"

"...That's because I don't actually need sleep, and thus don't look like a zombie."

"These are lame excuses. And besides, I make the best-est, Caramelldansing zombie. Ever."

"And modest, too."

Madara had been to pissed off the last few days to say much, so it seemed like the younger Uchiha had taken it upon himself to throw the sassy remarks instead. Why was Madara annoyed?

Well...

Even after Akai had started remembering some things about anime and such, Sara decided it was way more fun not to give her the real story, until she remembered everything herself. Of course, she did know that would result in her getting blackmailed for the rest of her life, but she didn't especially mind that.

So, Akai found herself in a 'relationship' with a person she didn't remember anything about, even when some of her other memories started coming back. It bugged her, and so did the fact that she didn't really think she was, or had ever had been the type of girl to be in a relationship.

So, with all that, and the man acting like he was PMSing all the time, she was beyond suspicious. And so, her strategy to find out what was going on, was to act as if _nothing _was, and thus, as if things were the way Sara claimed they were.

Also, wanting to remember things faster, she would ask questions...a lot of them. Sara actually had answers to give her so that wasn't an issue, and she didn't practically ask Obito too much, but Madara had a problem.

Obviously, he had no intention to answer her. As he had pointed out to Sara, that plain _ridiculous _story was her idea, so it was her own problem to convince her friend it was true. Not his.

But Akai wasn't exactly one to just shut up because she not being answered, especially when there was something she wanted to figure out. Of course, it was annoying in the oh-kami-it-just-won't-shut-up kind of way, but it wasn't only that.

***le flashback(of doom?)***

So there they were, several hours after they had gotten back from the hospital. Except for Sara finding that the chicken she had been making was not exactly a chicken anymore when they came back, nothing eventful happened.

Akai was rummaging around her stuff, glaring at them dully when they all refused to remind her of anything. Apparently, according to the doctor, they couldn't leave for vacation until her memory was back because...how did he place it...big changes and possible stress and exhaustion -even the awesome kind that vacations brought?- would be bad for her condition.

Akai was not pleased that she wasn't recognizing the household items of her own house. She wasn't pleased that she was recognizing her so called friends, either. After a few times of reminding her their name, she was able to remember them, but the only one that somewhat rang a bell to her was Sara(A/N: Duh, of course I'm having her faintly remember her, people. They're magical sisters of awesome amazingness and rainbow unicorns, don't question it.). The other two...nothing.

Well, not nothing, exactly. She did have that nagging feeling she knew of them...no, heard of them sounded more fitting, but that didn't make sense or match up with the story her friend had given her...Well, in any case, they were suppose to be her boyfriend and his brother. If she remembered correctly?

That seemed just...off...to her. But it _was_ what Sara had told her, and confirmed several times when she didn't look quite convinced. But then, why the fuck did she not remember them _at all_? Maybe...she hadn't known them for too long..?

Feeling quite awkward about it, she poked Madara. "How long have we been...you know? Together and all that shit?"

"...Memory of a goldfish, I swear," was the best he could reply at the moment, since he had no intention to come up with a backstory for _that _kind of shit.

"No, memory of a girl that fell and hit her head," she deadpanned.

He just gave her an infaaaaamous(feel the sarcasm -_-) Uchiha smirk, mentallyy noting that actually, that wasn't that bad of a comeback.

The girl shrugged, deciding that she wouldn't be getting more out of him at the moment. Well, he was supposed to be her boyfriend..._and _the slight concussion was making her pleasantly optimistic and cheerful...

She smiled brightly and cuddled into him, humming a song- whose melody was familiar to her, but she had not the slightest of idea what the song was called or what the lyrics were...

***end of le flashback(of doom?)***

That, for Madara, had been far beyond annoying...

In a _whatthehelldoesthelittleshitthinkshe'sdoing?!_ and _whyaren'tIaspissedasIshouldbe?! _way. _  
_

Somehow, this all had resulted in the girls being twice as high as usually, Obito being unusually sarcastic, and himself acting like he was PMSing.

Yes, these were good days.

* * *

I don't even know what the fuck that was about -_-

Caramelldansen? PMSing Madara?

I. Don't. Know.

Don't murder me, people. You know I love you all, and I do apologize if this doesn't make sense...in a bad way.

Then again, who needs sense when you've got unicorns?

I don't have a unicorn though. That's just sad.

Reduce. Reuse. Recycle!

Wait, no. I mean, _yes_, do that, but it was not what I meant to say.

What I meant to say was, review? Puh-lease? For me? And my irresistable puppy eyes? *puppy eye no jutsu*


	9. Darth Vader costumes get you duct-taped!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Sorry for the late update! I had writer's block and only today came up with how to get what I wanted to write written out, -kay?

Thank you for the reviews and favs and follows ane everything! I love you!

I'm still 'yelling' for no apparent reason!

So, um.

This is just...off...but I like it? Well, I dearly hope you too enjoy the chapter. Just a small warning, contains lots of caps lock.

Random note 1) For some reason, I've been singing "Nobody loves me, everyone hates me, I think I'm gonna eat worms! Big ones, fat ones, small ones, thin ones, look how the little one squirms!" all day long. I don't remember where I heard the damn song, but it's stuck in my head. It's rather creepy.

Random note 2) I have a newfound obsession. TobiDei. It's so fluffy!

So le replies to le guest reviews(of awesomeness):

RandomNinjaGirl: My puppy eyes are not stupid! It does make sense, and yeah, last chapter wasn't really funny *sniff* I hope this one is though! I tried my best.

HIGHONSUGARRRRRR: Firstly, I love your pen name. Secondly, as you can see, there is more :D I have no intention of giving up on this story. Thank you so much for calling it pure epicness. It seriously made my day :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Madara and Obito...I don't own Darth Vader...RedRaven98, my amazing neechan, owns Akai. I own Sara, and a confused, random guy, that has the shortest 'screen time' in 'screen time' history.

ENJOY(That's an order).

* * *

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! "

Sara's shriek of joy was heard through the house as she grinned widely and glomped a very confused guy standing outside the door. Unfortunately, the man was unable to dodge her attack because of the package he was holding.

"Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Thank you so much," the girl chirped happily.

"I just brought it here, but...uh, oh well," he shrugged.

Quickly, he handed her the package and made her sign where she had to, deciding that he wanted to get out of this weird place.

The girl was in lala-mood though, and failed to notice the freaked out expression in the man's face. Admittedly, she wouldn't have really cared eve if she had seen it.

She hastily walked back inside and softly placed the package on the couch, then eagerly started unwrapping it. The few seconds that passed, to her they seemed...like a few seconds, but that was way too long.

Still, she was rewarded when all the wrapping was off. She gleefully soaked in the sight of the costume she found inside, and once she had had enough staring at it, hugged it tightly to her chest.

She wanted to try it on, badly, but there was one thing she had to do before...

"I HAVE A DARTH VADER COSPLAY COSTUME! I HAVE A DARTH VADER COSTUME AND YOU DON'T! HAHAHAHA! I HAVE THE EPITOME OF EPIC AND AWESOME AND YOU DON'T! I HAVE A DARTH VADER COSTUME!"

She sing-sang loudly, running around in circles, still posesively holding the costume.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" came the irritated reply from a still PMSing Uchiha.

The other one, still being on his newfound sarcastic mood but finding no sassy comment to throw at her merely rolled his eyes at her actions.

"You shut up, Emo-butt!" she huffed, sticking her tongue out childishly. "You're just jealous that I have the best costume in the world and you don't! Now hush, I must go try this on. Nag Obito about how you were gay for Hashi but then you met Akai or something like that."

The man growled. "I am not-"

"SARA, YOU EMPTY-MELON-HEADED SILLY IMOUTO!" Akai, who had just stormed into the room interrupted her. "You got a Darth Vader costume and you're trying it on without me? Really? That's low!"

Sara rolled her eyes. "Well I'm sorry, but you happen to have amnesia and thus, not know who Darth Vader is-oh..." she trailed off. "A-akai? How many live action movies does Death Note have?"

"Three," Akai automatically replied.

"Oh sweet Nutella," the younger girl gasped with a huge grin. "You're back! You're back! I missed you so damn much!"

With that said, she ran to tackle her neechan.

"Do you want me to get a concussion again?" Akai grunted, rubbing the back of her head, which had nicely connected with the ground. Again.

"Oopsie," Sara replied, with no hint of regret in her voice. "So, we're trying out the Darth Vader costume or what?"

"Duh. Just let the emo-butts be emo because they- _Wait,_" she growled.

She crooked her head to the side, smiling creepily at her imouto, her hair flying wildly around in a Kushina-like way.

"I'm dead," Sara whimpered.

"You...you think that the fact I had amnesia gave you the excuse to...make up such...such...IMOUTO, WHAT THE HELL?"

Sara jumped behind the couch, yelling, "I regret nothing!"

"I CAN FIX THAT!" Akai hissed. "You know what? What happened in your first day of highschool is not a secret anymore."

All colour drained from Sara's face and she held onto the couch in order not to fall since she felt like she was going to faint.

"You're bluffing."

"Try me."

Swallowing hard, the girl gave her best puppy eyes, "But what could I have done? I needed a backstory and I couldn't exactly tell you that they guys living in your house were actually characters from our favourite manga!"

"You still could have thought of a better story though," Akai pressed on, even though she had cooled off a bit.

"Well," Sara started, taking a step back and glancing at the door leading to the bathroom, "It's not _my _fault that you two act like an old, married couple."

She didn't waste a moment before making her escape, storming in the bathroom and shutting the door closed behind her. She hastily locked it and sat down, panting heavily, but giggling at the same time.

"SARA! YOU CAN'T LOCK YOURSELF IN A ROOM IN _MY_ HOUSE, DAMNIT!"

"YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!"

It went on like that for a while, until the so called emo-butts decided that they had had enough of the girls constant yelling and occasional high-pitched horror movie screams. And so, they decided something had to be done about it.

* * *

Akai sweatdropped at her friend. "Imouto-chan. Seriously. An obviously pissed off s-rank criminals asks you where the duct tape is and you actually tell him?"

"I was trying to be a good person," Sara defended herself, all too innocently. Mentally, she kicked herself for her own stupidity.

It had, after all, resulted at the girls being tied up to the kitchen's chairs with tape. Their mouths had been duct-taped as well so they couldn't speak, but they had finally managed to get them off.

"...I thought you don't like being nice?"

"I don't! _Nice, _is a no-no. _Good, _is an okee."

Akai snickered quietly and then frowned, still being a bit angry at her friend.

"...Seriously though," Sara spoke up. "Are they into bontage or something?"

Akai chuckled and attempted to playfully kick her friend, thing that only made her chair fall, and her along with it. "Damn you."

Sara supressed a giggle, and shrugging slightly leaned forward and fell down with her chair as well.

"Here. Now we're even."

* * *

Ahaha.

I make a fanfiction about Madara and Obito coming to our world, and give them equal screen time with the confused random dude...Ahaha.

...It's not funny.

This was longer in my mind, only well, now it's not -_-

Akai's got her memory back though, was pissed, Sara fell off her chair, now she's not pissed. Ta da da!

I have a bunch of stories I'm working on, so I might not update next week, okay? But I am NOT, either now or ever, giving up on this story.

Just so you won't be wondering if there's no soon update.

Every time you review, a magical-rainbow-ninja-waffle-kitten is born. This is a fact.

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.


	10. We have a meow-meow

...You know. I'm pretty damn sure I'm going nuts.

Seriously. Even though I'm rarely serious and right now, I'm having a mad laughing fit.

It's not even funny. I see stuff. I hear stuff. It's _creepy._

Why am I telling you this? Because I have nothing to say on this author note and thus, decided to turn it into a personal rant.

Seriously though. I just went to sleep yesterday and I was certain I could hear somebody humming-singing.

I probably dreamed about it though? _Anyway._

You guys are seriously amazing for bothering to read all of this weird-ass fic and bearing with my insanity, and even reviewing, alert-ing, and faving. So thank you. So damn much.

Le replies to le guest reviews(ever noticed I like saying le):

hanayu: *snif* They are so cute, aren't they?

RandomNinjaGirl: I never said that YOU get the waffle kitten. I just said that it's born.

Uni-pooop: Yeah, worms. I was in an odd mood, -kay? And yeah, Sara can be a bit...off. AND MORE TOBIDEI SUPPORTERS! YAY!

**Disclaimer: ***snif* Madara and Obito are not mine. Akai belongs to RedRaven98. I own Sara and an adorable black kitten.

* * *

"SHUT THE HELL UP, you sponge-fried sploogegobblin, brillo-lipped sphinctergrinder, crusty-assed nobface-"

"-Foul-sacked clitchute, baby-tainted funjockey, pink-faced fruitcurtain-"

"-Stinky-holed testiclewiggler, frog-twated lumberbot, leather-specked fruittrench!"

"-Wet-encrusted cootertrap, flea-skulled dildoweed, stink-toed skeetheap!"

"Do you even know what any of those mean?"

"Do you even think they mean something?"

"Good po-I MEAN! You pink-knuckled jizzberry!"

Sara sweatdroped, and supressed the urge to yell at the two to just confess their undying love for each other and get a room already. She knew Akai wouln't be really pleased with such a comment, especially after the whole amnesia incident.

It had been a weird, nerve-cracking week since then. Things had gone pretty much back to normal, after the girls managed to free themselves of course. Akai was still a bit sour about that though, and she was in an I'm-not-talking-to-you mood...well, around anyway.

Obviously, that hadn't really worked out well and the two were now caught up in the middle of a cussing contest. Admittedly, neither of them had an idea what they were saying, and thus couldn't judge how insulting it was. It had actually come to the point where the one that got bored of it first lost.

"Won't you do something?" ... grunted, recalling how they had actually shut up the other time when she had threatened the two with that Dora-thing.

"Sure," Sara agreed with a dovey smile, putting her earphones on. Now, awesome music was heard instead of the cussing.

The man was half-tempted to throw something at her head, but knowing her she'd probably dodge, and then _he _would be responsible for breaking one of Akai's things. Again. So he settled with snatching the mp3 from her. Now she'd have to somehow shut them up.

She turned to stare at him boredly, before glancing at the bickering two again.

"...So how long do you think it will take them to get together?"

"A week at most. At some point, they _will _run out of insults," he reasoned.

Sara shook her head, "Neh. Neechan is amazing at making up insults and besides, she's way to stubborn to admit she likes him just like that. I'm pretty sure something _will _happen, but they'll somehow manage to go back to being all awkward afterwards."

"Hn," was his only reply, because let's face it. It was _every _Uchiha's comeback when they meant to say that they were done talking. And frankly, this one...ok, most of them, but that's not important to the story...didn't exactly like chit-chatting.

"Don't believe me? Let's go a bet," she challenged.

"...Why?"

Sara hummed thoughtfully for a moment. "Hmm. If something _does _happen in the week, but they don't get together, I win, and you have to...uh...Oh, I know! Put on the happy-go-lucky Tobi act for three days. If they actually get together, meaning that you win, then-"

"Absolutely _no _yaoi fanfictions, or pictures, or anything of that sort, _or _rants about any of the Naruto characters' sexuality."

He hadn't originally have any intentions to make a bet with her, but seeing a chance to be somewhat left at peace for three days, it was tempting. And even if it actually happened the way she said, which he doubted, he wouldn't really _have _to keep his end of the deal.

She pouted. "_What? _But...but...that's so _unfair_...Then again, I'm so going to win anyway..." she trailed off, considering. "Oh, fine. Three days. But I'm _so _going to win. It's on."

* * *

Akai rolled to the side, glanced at her friend briefly and threw a pie at her head. Sara was too busy scanning the room for her next weapon to see the thing flying towards her, which resulted in her face being covered in pie.

"Wow," she chuckled in amusement, "I have pie all over me! This is kinda like a dream come tr- I MEAN! FOR HOGWARTS!"

"FOR NARNIA! FOR ASLAN!" Akai shouted back.

Another piece of pie left her hand and was sent at her imouto, only this time Sara managed to duck.

"HA! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!" she yelled dramatically, doing a strange little dance and sticking her tongue out at her neechan.

She then grabbed a muffin- slightly saddened that it's amazingness would go to waste- threw it at Akai and sprinted off.

"YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!" Akai exclaimed, chasing after her.

The two girls were in the middle of what they claimed to be the First Great Food War. Admittedly, they did regret wasting all that tasty food that could have been in their stomach, but throwing it at each other was pretty fun, to. It also happened to suit this story's purposes.

Sara glanced behind her shoulder and let out a yelp, seeing how Akai was closing in on her. She ran out of the door and slammed it behind her, in hope to slow down her neechan a bit.

When the older girl caught up though, Sara was no more interested in running away from her. Instead, she had sat on her knees in the middle of a the sidewalk and was staring at something with wide eyes.

The _something _happened to be a pitch black, less than a week old, adorable little kitten. Akai mentally awww'd and sat down next to her imouto, watching the little thing that was staring back at them with it's pretty kitten eyes.

(A/N: No, this is NOT turning into an Akatsuki-cats thing. I just wanted them to have a cat because I want one too and dad won't let me, -kay?)

Sara gave her neechan her best pouty face, "Please? Oh, please? With strawberries on top?"

"You feed it, and if it pees on my couch or scratches it..." she trailed off in a threatening tone.

Akai was affected by the kitten's natural cuteness, but that didn't mean she wanted it's poop everywhere around her house.

Sara gulped, "Yes ma'am!"

"That's a good girl," Akai patted her imouto's head with a dovey smile on her face. "Let's go back, shall we?"

"Okee-dokee," the younger girl agreed gleefully, picking the kitten up and squeezing it tightly.

Then she began humming happily, and the two girls skipped away.

* * *

"GUESS WHAT?" Sara yelled excitedly, throwing the door open.

Akai gasped, "OH! I'M GUESSING! Are you selling girl scout cookies? Can the flamingo only eat when it's head is upside-down? Do blue whales weight as much as three elephants?"

Sara blinked. "...No, oddly enough yes, and yes."

"How do you know?"

"Apparently, the author has been reading some weird animal facts lately."

"...Oh."

"ANYWAY!" Sara exclaimed, running towards the living room where she guessed the two men would be. "We now have a meow-meow and-"

She abrubtly stopped mid-sentence, and watched in astonishment and amuzement. Judging by their pie-covered clothes, apparently the girls weren't the only ones who had a food war that day.

"Sweet. Merciful. Fuck," Akai chuckled. "Don't you two _dare_ move. Seriously. I have to take a picture of this. I have to!"

* * *

...I just really want a kitty, -kay?

I like saying -kay. It sounds prettd damn nice in my mind.

So anyway.

If you all could, in your reviews, give me a suggestion of what an adorable, black kitten should be named (gender is also up to you), it would be really awesome?

Come on, please? With _strawberries _on top?

^^I'm gonna be using that phrase rather a lot. It's kind of an inner joke.

Always remember to review, and bake cookies!


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